An artistic look at the future of justice in California – Judicial Council Style

Posted on July 3, 2012


Good morning, Worm your honor.
The crown will plainly show
The prisoner who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed showing feelings
Showing feelings of an almost human nature;
This will not do.

Call the schoolmaster!

[Schoolmaster testifies]

I always said he’d come to no good in the end your honor.
If they’d let me have my way I could have flayed him into shape.
But my hands were tied,the bleeding hearts and artists let him get away with murder.
Let me hammer him today?

Toys in the attic I am crazy,
Truly gone fishing.
They must have taken my marbles away.
Crazy, toys in the attic he is crazy.

Call the wife!

[The wife testifies]

You little shit you’re in it now, I hope they throw away the key.
You should have talked to me more often Than you did, but no!

You had to go your own way, have you broken any homes up lately?
Just five minutes, Worm your honor, him and me, alone.

[The mother testifies]

Come to mother baby, let me hold you in my arms.
M’lud I never wanted him to get in any trouble.
Why’d he ever have to leave me?
Worm, your honor, let me take him home.

Over the rainbow, I am crazy,
Bars in the window.
There must have been a door there in the wall
When I came in.
Crazy, over the rainbow, he is crazy.

[The Verdict]

The evidence before the court is incontrovertible, there’s no need for the jury to retire.
In all my years of judging I have never heard before of someone more deserving
Of the full penalty of law.

The way you made them suffer, Your exquisite wife and mother fills me with the urge to defecate!

[The courtroom: ]

“Hey Judge! Shit on him!”

Since, my friend, you have revealed your deepest fear, I sentence you to be exposed before your peers.

Tear down the wall!